Elixir
by The Goliath Beetle
Summary: Aerrow's ways of grieving are rather cliché. There's nothing that whiskey can't solve, and even if it can't bring back the dead, at least it can help him forget. *One-shot with mentions of character-death and adult language.*


Elixir

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**A/N: Long time, no see, my fellow Fanfiction writers! Though that's my fault for vanishing off the face of the earth. Exams and writer's block. Euch, what a combination. **

**Anyway, here's a little something. **

**Dedicated to two very wonderful souls. Thank you for the memories :)**

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The whole world was dusty. Colours of everything were old and fading. A dirty dark blue sky, an ugly shade of white, moss greens and dark reds. Things had lost their luster.

Except for the whiskey, of course. That was bright golden, that drink of the gods. The bottle was half empty (not half full), the glass was topped up.

Somewhere in the distance, there was a breeze. It rushed towards him but he brushed it off and took another sip of his drink. Luckily for him, the _Condor _was parked on Terra Atmosia. He wouldn't fall off and die. Break a few bones, sure, because sitting on _top _of the massive airship means that there was a generous distance between himself and the ground.

But at least he won't die. Wasn't that lucky?

Wasn't it?

"Aerrow, you've had enough." Starling's voice was clear. She was expecting a mess and so she wasn't surprised.

"Come, join me!" He was either being patronizing, or was drunk out of his wits. Though, from the fake joy in his voice, she figured it was the former.

So she approached him, sat down, took the half-empty whiskey bottle and had a small swig. She gagged at the taste but swallowed. Then she spoke. "Drinking away your sorrows, huh? Pretty cliché."

"Clichés are good."

"If you say so, Aerrow. If you say so."

Aerrow took another sip from his glass. The drink was warm because there was no ice. "This is my second bottle, before you ask." Starling had long since noticed an empty _Jack Daniel's _lying a few feet away from her knee. ('A few feet away from her knee.' Radarr would have liked that line.)

"I wasn't going to ask you."

They stared into the dusty night sky for a full minute.

"Do you believe it?" Aerrow asked her. "One minute he's there, the next, he's not."

"It happened quite unexpectedly."

"I'm starting to believe it," he explained. "So I'm trying to forget." As if to make a point, he took a long drink and hissed as the liquid scalded his throat.

"Because you forgetting it would change a thing."

"If I could forget, at least for a few hours…Is that so bad?"

"It's cowardly."

"Then I'm a coward."

"Okay."

Another silence.

Aerrow shook his tired head. "It doesn't make sense."

"Radarr got injured in battle. These things happen."

"Yes but it was such a small injury!" Aerrow stuck his thumb downwards and his pointer finger upwards. "That big, and quite shallow, down his arm. Things so…trivial…happen to us all the time. And he was _fine, _you know? Jumping around and being his usual self…"

"Radarr caught an infection," Starling told him gently. "You couldn't predict it."

"Yes but come on, Starling." Aerrow was getting more and more agitated. "He was fine. And then in the morning, he was dead. What happened? I'll tell you what. I couldn't keep a closer eye on him. He, as usual, tried to rip out the bandages and maybe he did it at night and I was asleep so I didn't realise…and then…He..."

"I don't think that's what happened," Starling replied, her voice starchy.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because he was found with his bandages intact, remember?" Then Starling looked at the empty bottle of whiskey and the half-finished one in her hand. "Of course you don't remember."

"At least it's working."

"Shut up, Aerrow. You've really had enough booze for tonight."

He ignored her. "So what do you think happened?"

"Piper believes that he must have gotten infected before the bandages were put and the antiseptic lotion didn't work. And I agree with her."

Aerrow drained the glass. "Pass me the whiskey bottle, would ya? I still remember things."

"No."

"Just give it to me, dammit."

"Shut up, Aerrow."

He rolled his eyes. "We'll _share, _if that's what this is about."

"I don't want any whiskey. Piper sent me up here to get you down. Everyone's really worried about you, apart from the fact that they're grieving. Put them out of their misery and go down to the bridge."

"Why should I care?" Aerrow spat.

"Because you're their leader."

"So?"

"And you're scaring them." Starling then played her trump card. "And if Radarr were here, he'd smack you on the head with that bottle for behaving like such a moron."

"But he _isn't here. _Which is why I'm here, behaving like such a moron." Aerrow lunged for the bottle, but he could barely hold himself up, stumbling on his feet and landing with his midsection on Starling's lap.

She pushed him off. "Exhibit A," she muttered.

He reached for the bottle but Starling all but brushed him aside. "You're completely off your face, you idiot," she snarled. "You're going to fall off the side of the ship if you aren't careful."

"Oh who cares?"

"Your friends do."

"Heh."

"You think it's your fault Radarr died." It wasn't a question. "And that's the stupidest thing. The Cyclonians hurt him. It happens in battles."

"It shouldn't."

Starling looked away. Despite herself, she took a sip of the whiskey right out of the bottle. "You're damn right it shouldn't," she said quietly. "It's terrible when your teammates die. I know, Aerrow, I know."

The redhead shook his head and straightened himself into a sitting position. "I forgot about your teammates for a moment…I'd forgotten that you know how it feels."

"One and a half bottles of booze and you're someone who can't even hold a drink. I'm surprised you remember your name."

He smirked, just a little. "Aerrow, isn't it?"

"Shut up, dumbass."

He sighed, serious again. "I'll stop, Starling. I will. Just, not tonight."

"Then when?"

"Let me finish that whiskey bottle tonight. I swear I won't touch a drop of booze ever again."

Starling looked at him. An honest, pained expression looked back.

"You want the whiskey? Go downstairs." And she picked up the two bottles and left. Aerrow knew she'd be waiting for him in the bridge. So he ran after her the best he could.

Well, it was more of a stumble, really.

When he got to the bridge, Piper gasped. "You look terrible!"

"Go get some sleep, dude," Finn said quietly, giving him a gentle push towards the general direction of their bedrooms.

He could feel all of their eyes on him. Piper, Finn, Stork Junko (_Radarr—_oh wait. Not Radarr.) His eyes searched for Starling. When he found her by the controls of the ship, he staggered up to her and took the half-empty bottle. "That's mine."

"Aerrow!" he heard Piper say. But he ignored her as he made the long and lonely journey to his room.

The damn place _smelled _of Radarr. He used to like to cuddle up next to Aerrow in the bed, burrowing his furry head in the Sky Knight's chest. There was still blue fur on everything in the room.

That's when Aerrow broke down. It wasn't tears, per se. Just a general feeling of horror. He collapsed onto his bed, hugging his bottle of booze. He was shaking. There was also nausea.

What the hell had happened, man? What the hell had happened? It didn't make any sense. Aerrow had been getting these 'breakdowns' plenty today. He'd already mused upon the unpredictability of life, and all those other intricacies. The sense of panic, terror, disbelief…he'd been feeling them all day. They'd come, grab him for an hour or so, and leave, making him feel hollow.

This time, he hit upon a new revelation.

He lied there, hugging the whiskey bottle for dear life, curling up around it, breathing it in. The elixir sloshed around inside its glass cage, crying to be consumed. The bottle cap prodded into Aerrow's chest. _Drink me, drink me! _

Aerrow finally opened his eyes to look at it. The room was dark, but the moonlight let him see. The way he was hugging it. The way it burrowed into his chest.

His jaw went stiff.

Aerrow picked up the bottle, staggered to the open window and threw it out.

No-one took Radarr's place. Not even _Jack-_fucking-_Daniel's._

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**A/N: ** **As most of my work is, this is sort of dark. Tell me what you think of it! I'm pretty happy, especially since I had writer's block. I'm currently looking for more fandoms to write in. I love Storm Hawks and Avatar: The Last Airbender and whatever, but I want something new!**

**Any ideas? **

**Thanks for reading! Please review :D **


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